Election Awards

The campaign has been long and in this era of survival of the Barackiest, it’s only normal to hand out awards – and warnings.

Words, Expressions and Characters we need to delete from our collective memory, as of November 4^th:

Words

* Gravitas

* Maverick

* Trig

* Piper

* Earmarks

* Mispronounced “nuclear”

Expressions

* You betcha

* In what sense, Charlie?

* Hockey mom

* That one

* My friends

* Lipstick on a pig

* Paling around

* … and I approve this message

* Drill baby, drill

Characters

* Pitbulls with Lipstick

* Token Black people who hung out at the RNC

* Sarah Palin’s imaginary gay friend

* Roland Martin (I think MadTv has openings. Give’em a call)

* Jeremiah Wright

* William Ayers

* Obama’s half-brother in Kenya (Only as a pre-emptive measure. He could become the Roger Clinton/ Billy Carter/Neal Bush/ Joe McCain/ Fredo Corleone of an Obama administration)

* The Bush Doctrine

* Cindy McCain’s pill addiction

* Joe the Plumber

* Joe six-pack

* Joe Lieberman

* Debbie does Dallas (oh wait, wrong list)

* People who think Obama is a Muslim

* People who think being a Muslim is a bad thing

* Chuck Norris

* Victoria Jackson (she’s much more useful in obscurity)

* 236.com (you are smart, funny … and naughty)

* Fox News

* Russia’s view, from Alaska

* The People who still think Obama’s success is, although Blacks make up only 13% of the U.S. population, about race

* W. (the man and the thugs in his entourage)

People who, following the Election coverage, deserve a raise or a promotion:

* Obama’s Canadian supporters and operatives

* Oprah (for the early endorsement and for standing up to Palin’s bully publicists)

* Hillary Clinton (who, after taking a step back, got her grace back and became a trooper. Oh, and for putting up with Bill)

* Will.i.am

* Fareek Zakaria

* Wolf Blitzer

* People who joined the Facebook group “I have more foreign experience than Sarah Palin”

* Chris Martin of Coldplay (for the cool Obama shout-out, live on SNL)

* Notable Republicans who endorsed Obama

* Katie Couric (for keeping a straight face while interviewing Sarah Palin)

* The entire team at Huffington Post

* Colin Powell (for his courage, his perfect timing and for sobering up the Republican Party)

* Herbie Hancock (for his subtle and early endorsement at this year’s Grammy awards ceremony)

* Bloggers (Republicans and Democrats) for proving the medium is primordial

* The City of Berlin

* The City of Obama, Japan

* Chris Matthews

* Stephen Colbert & John Stewart

* Time Magazine, GQ, Rolling Stone, Ebony, Paris Match and Vibe for the badass Obama covers.